whichever way it works!
Is your marriage on d rocks? Does living with your in laws seem like a nerve racking shack? Do not run into hasty decisions especially if there is a kiddo involved. This might sound a little cinematic but please know that there are no two people ever made for each other. It’s what we mend ourselves for each other that makes us truly the perfect pair.
Ever wondered if may be everyone in the world is happy with relationships but for you? Well, for starters those who you know are not the ‘world’ and what you know about them could be wrong(Exceptions excepted). Every couple in this world would go through a frictional phase before understanding each other completely. Do not be deceived by fb posts or public displays of affection and get yourself carried away. I personally know of a lady who publicly screams foul language on her hubby and everyone around her, but her fb posts would be oozing out love for one another every single day(she sure as hell is not on my friends list now)
. I mean granted those kind of pyschos are a rare find but the point is many are not as it seems. Those who truly are, would have gone through the same.
. I mean granted those kind of pyschos are a rare find but the point is many are not as it seems. Those who truly are, would have gone through the same.
A recent and unfortunate incident about my dear friend’s divorce from her hubby is precisely the motivation behind this post. Of may be the 10 divorces that I personally know of, only one was because one of them was a pyscho, rest nine were due to misunderstandings.
Any kind of marriage (love or arranged) will and for sure pass through at least these 4 stages. Attraction, Friction, Understanding & Adjustment and Maturity & Trust. All relationships of course starts with some kind of attraction (I mean why else would you marry them right?). Sadly this is the most short lived phase. It lasts only for a couple of months and for some only weeks. Everything about each other would be so likeable. But should I say this is also the phase where you start hating your in laws (and they, you) the most. 
Then comes the war, the friction phase.
You start quarrelling on the worlds most silliest things. Ego takes control and not to mention some of in law’s insecurity playing its devilish roles ;-). Fight, Fight, every time, everywhere.
Suddenly the once so dreamt about life would seem like a hell. The face that once evoked eternal love would now invoke Irritation. Many would feel like going back to phase 0 (did i mention? - before marriage).
You start quarrelling on the worlds most silliest things. Ego takes control and not to mention some of in law’s insecurity playing its devilish roles ;-). Fight, Fight, every time, everywhere.
Suddenly the once so dreamt about life would seem like a hell. The face that once evoked eternal love would now invoke Irritation. Many would feel like going back to phase 0 (did i mention? - before marriage).
After that for some it takes longer, for some its a quick realisation and sadly for a few the next phase never comes, which is adjusting for and understanding each other. Set aside your differences and sit and talk. Most of the times one would end up fighting again with the other but keep trying. 90 % of the issues will get resolved when you talk free and your mind out. Please refrain from having such conversations during a fight. You know how when you are angry all those bad words just slip out like word vomit? I would say it is better to shut our mouth up and sit in silence for sometime and concentrate on allowing our defences to calm down a bit. Put yourself in each others shoes. For e.g.. It might be just cricket for you, but for him its the god's own Play!! likewise she might be your sweet lovely mom but for her she would be an insecure Hitler with extra powers. Today it might be easy to break the relationship and move on, but what next? you start from the beginning with the next person and so on and so forth. Those who think of living alone, please remember old-age sucks even with someone to lean on to!! Sit down and arrive at a fair middle point and work towards it, for when you touch the line, you would actually be holding hands.
Once that phase sets and both begin to bend themselves for the other, maturity dawns. Love after this phase is like wine, the more the years the better it becomes.From the time a couple is in this phase there is no turning back. Very less expectations but lots of satisfactions, one is not needed to spill the beans because it is already understood, speaking silence more than words, defending each other, tackling problems together, appreciating more, nagging less, laughing together upon silly fights, and of course showering loads and loads of affectionate love-These are all a possibility one day in every relationship and when that stage comes you will truly be the most wonderful “made for each other” in the whole damn world. And when kids come either in the third or fourth stage into your lives then your family would indeed be ‘Rocking’ but in a whole other sense!!!
From the time a couple is in this phase there is no turning back. Very less expectations but lots of satisfactions, one is not needed to spill the beans because it is already understood, speaking silence more than words, defending each other, tackling problems together, appreciating more, nagging less, laughing together upon silly fights, and of course showering loads and loads of affectionate love-These are all a possibility one day in every relationship and when that stage comes you will truly be the most wonderful “made for each other” in the whole damn world. And when kids come either in the third or fourth stage into your lives then your family would indeed be ‘Rocking’ but in a whole other sense!!!
~ Family is life's greatest blessing and god's earlier heaven!!
